My status update to the world: Shut up!

Feeling overwhelmed and wondering how you can avoid becoming crippled under the weight of everyone’s competing expectations? “Join the club!” right?

fantbulouswomen overwhelmed tell the world to shut up

Literally buried.

You know how it is. The never-ending influx of competing information and conflicting advice, whether in your own head, online, in books, in your email in-box or in real life conversations.

Add more veggies to your diet. Don’t eat baby carrots—they’re just bad carrots shredded up and reconstituted. Oh, and watch out for contaminated spinach!

Kids have too many toys these days. What’s a birthday party without new toys???

Aim for getting in 10,000 steps every day. Organize your home according to specific tasks to cut down on wandering around in search of various items. Save time by accomplishing as many of your errands as possible in a limited area.

Take these supplements, cut caffeine and start a running and weight lifting regime. Supplements may or may not make a difference, coffee is good for you and regular gentle walks and yoga are your best bet.

I’m so tired of going on Facebook just to hear about whose kids are sick, who’s working out and what you’re eating for dinner. I’m so tired of going on Facebook just to see jokes, political commentary or pictures of cats. You don’t post enough personal stuff on Facebook…OR You post on Facebook too much.

Then it can get even more personal.

People assume that you’re a hippie because you breastfeed and let your kids sleep with you or that you’re a total “mainstreamer” because you bribe them with candy and put them in public school when neither title is entirely accurate.

One neighbor gives you dirty looks because you let the neighborhood kids congregate on your front lawn while another neighbor thinks you’re a snob because you don’t let her kid come inside to play anymore.

You’re expected to be the family travel agent, photographer, social media expert, peace keeper and event planner and then your family wonders why their thank-you notes are late (or nonexistent) and why you don’t have more time to spend on your housekeeping duties.

It never ends.

Dress sexier to keep the romance alive. Dress modestly to avoid tempting the opposite sex.

Relax! Get moving!

Take time for yourself! Take time to help other people!

Save money! Treat yourself to something new!

Travel more! Stay home more!

Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! Just writing this list makes me want to jump out the window!

tell the world so shut up tabitha dumas writer


Ever feel like you just can’t win?

I have learned to mostly keep my opinion to myself but there are days when I want to send a status update to the universe that just says, “Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!”

I can’t be the only person left wanting to say, “Really?!?!” and bang my head into the wall. Is it any wonder that substance abuse is such a rampant problem?!

No woman can do it all, or be all things to all people. It’s one of the FanTABulous Women tenets: “Embrace the fact that no woman can ‘do it all.’” It goes perfectly with another tenet: “Celebrate what you’re good at and accept help when you need it.”

There are too many demands, too many competing opinions, too many people advising you according to their own agenda and too many voices in your ear to appease them all.

Even on my best day, I manage to walk out the door without my phone and end up broken down on the side of the road and hitching a ride home from a stranger. Yes, that happened a few months ago at 9:30pm after a long conference call and my phone battery was dead. I just needed peanut butter to make sandwiches for my son’s lunch the next day and should have been there and back in fifteen minutes.

My mom quizzed me on the lesson I learned from the experience.

“What?” I asked, rather than guessing. If I had guessed, it would have probably been “Stay home.”

She said, “You need to get a car phone charger.”

Oh, that. I’ll get right on that. Hmm, let’s see….yes, that is now #1,847 out of 3,922. Excellent.

So. What to do. For me, there are a few techniques that help me avoid resorting to taking up drinking or throwing in the towel altogether. I’ll be sharing them in the days to come because #1, I love sharing my experiences with others in the hopes that it will help them and #2, I believe this is a worthwhile discussion to have.

Do you struggle with this? Do you ever feel like you just can’t win? Do you need some new ideas for what to do when you just want to tell the world to “shut up?” Stay tuned…and hop on over to the FanTABulous Women Facebook page to keep the conversation going!

About Tabitha

I am the one woman show behind FanTABulous Women. God is #1 in my life. I am a wife of twelve years, mother of two sons, purveyor of pretty and agent of encouragement. I am also a writer, dreamer, blogger and go-getter. I am happiest when I'm "putting myself out there" and inspiring others to do the same--in their own unique way. To pick my brain or schedule a consultation, call or text (602) 349-1129 or email letmerephrasethat(at)

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Copyright Tabitha Dumas, online and in-persona image consultant Gilbert Chandler, Arizona. All right reserved.